Oh Ayla!

Yesterday I go to pick up Ayla from daycare. She is great as I pick her up, acts perfect until I get her in the van. Literally as I am closing the door she starts screaming. Another parent looks at me, I say to him, "I'm glad I picked her up tonight." He laughs at me and I get into the van. Then she starts into a fit that I have never seen before. Screaming for me to get her out of her carseat because she needed to play more...for goodness sakes she has been gone for 9 days (this is what she tells me). I stop the car and try to talk to her rationally while still in the parking lot. There is no rationalizing at this point...so I tell her if she continues she isn't able to get out of the van at Tricia's. I also told her there was no sucker or snack or the way home. She continues on....throwing her shoes at me as I drive, throwing anything she can reach towards my way, screaming to where I can barley drive, etc. So then I make a parenting decision...I can fight with her or I can be bigger than her...so I choose the later one and do a teaching strategy called "planned ignoring." I choose to ignore her and her behavior on the way to pick up Brooklyn at Aunt Tricia's house who keeps Brooklyn for us. At various points this is what I am hearing, "MOM...MOM DO YOU HEAR ME?", "Mama, why aren't you listening to me? Talk to me NOW" "When we get to Tricia's I'm getting OUT!" So I pull into Aunt Tricia's about 15 mins later and proceed to get Brooklyn. I don't talk to Ayla, I just leave her in the car and get Brooklyn. Aunt Tricia came out to talk to Ayla, but I still just ignored her. Then we continue our route home...mind you, our LONG route home with a screaming 4 1/2 year old. Generally Brooklyn screams out of hunger the trip home; but today Ayla is screaming so hard she doesn't even attempt. So it continues, "I need a tissue mom" "I need my blanket...PLLLEEASSE." I ignore her. At times I was laughing so hard I literally had to turn my head so Ayla wouldn't see me. We then get home, I go over to her carseat, get her out and say, "Go to room to think about your behavior." I leave her there about 5 mins and then go in to talk to her. I tell her to sit up and talk to me like an adult. I say, "Ayla today you are 4 1/2, but you aren't acting like it. How old have you been acting?" Her response, "two." I say, "You are right and I don't ever want to see this type of behavior again." I told her how disappointed I was with her and that if this ever happens again that she will be placed in her room all night (with her dinner brought to her there and only permission to get out if she needs to pee or shower). She says, "OH MOM, I'M SO SORRY. I LOVE YOU." For a brief moment I was like, "Yes" I won without yelling. But then Brooklyn started in and screamed ALL night long. Too bad Brooklyn doesn't reason just quite yet.